Thursday, July 16, 2009

Because nothing says panic like a handbag.

I was just waiting for it to happen. I knew that eventually, some time before I left for BlogHer, I would completely lose my shit. I guess I just didn't think it would be about a purse. Those of you who know me can stop laughing now. Except Kristen, she totally gets me.

Sometimes, a purse is not just a purse, it is:

  • The first time that you have carried something that you had no intention of carrying diapers in, because dude your kid is two and potty trained.
  • A purse, like a real honest to goodness adult bag. You're 32, why are you not carrying an adult bag. Still with the messenger bag?
  • You're 32, why don't you feel old enough to be 32, holy crap shouldn't you have done more by 32.
  • Two? She's two, it has been over two years and you've never left her. Include gestation and we're at almost three. Shouldn't you feel more guilty for leaving?
  • Why can't I find a damn purse that looks like a grown up purse, but doesn't look like a granny purse, but doesn't look like you're 25, because dude, your 32!!!
  • Does this purse make me look like a grandma? Is it edgy enough, is it too big, is it too small?
  • What am I doing, I shouldn't go, I shouldn't do it, I don't have the right handbag. People are going to think I'm a loser. Would I be a bigger loser if I carried my Timbuk2 messenger bag?
  • I wish I had an iPhone, or at least an iPod Touch with wifi.
Thank god for understanding coworkers who get panic attacks. I'm beginning to wish I had insisted on medicating prior to BlogHer. So, if you see me hyperventilating in the corner, tell me my purse looks great. If you see shopping at Macy's, stop me before I blow the house payment trying to find the perfect damn purse.

*Fine, I'm not 32 yet, but it is like three weeks away (you're welcome to buy me a birthday drink). I'm already feeling 32, in case you couldn't tell.


Christina said...

Last year at BlogHer I had a big ugly black laptop backpack bag serving as my purse. So anything you buy can't be that bad.

This year I bought a tote that I'm hoping will get here in time.

The Fritz Facts said...

I love my non-mom purse. I get most of mine at the knock of stores (there is a great one in Burnsville that I will be visiting tonight actually). They have wonderful non-granma purses too.

Elizabeth said...

Hello! Following Missy's advice on her blog today, I'm trying to comment more. I really enjoy your posts! I don't have a blog of my own, but do love lurking. I also found out that I'm going to be staying at the hotel where BlogHer is that weekend, but am not attending BlogHer. When I found out, I secretly made a little wish that I would spot you there...and I would say HI! Also, I turn 32 three weeks from today (Aug 7)!

Elizabeth in Indy

Amelia Sprout said...

Elizabeth, that's my birthday too!

I hope I see you too. Hopefully the bloggers don't cause too much trouble. ;)

Marketing Mama said...

Is that the picture of the purse? It's cute. Was it a full blown panic attack? You totally deserve a new purse.

Happy early birthday. Here I pictured you as older (and wiser) than me! I'm 33.

kristen said...

The purse is adorable. I saw it! (And yes, it's the one in the picture). Like I told you, it's totally not Grandma-ish. Grandma purses do not have rivets.

And yes, I do totally get it. It's amazing how the mind works - it's an odd sort of free-association that can make you feel utterly panicked and all "what the heck!?".

I haven't said this to you, but I have a ton of respect for you for going to BlogHer. I've personally always have had a hard time interacting in groups of women, especially groups where I know few if any of the women. It's hard for me to squash those feelings of "Am I cool enough to be here or am I a big dork?" or "They're talking about me, I just know it and why am I wearing these awful shoes?". I hope you are able to go to BlogHer and have a wonderful time, and not let these creeping thoughts affect you.

And tell A I'll be around if he needs the help with M.

anita ovolina said...

Purse looks very cute in the pic. Happy b-day and get the purse!
I look forward to seeing it at Blogher :)

rew said...

I seem to remember them giving us stuff last year, so you didn't really need a purse, everyone just wandered around with their schwag bags. I don't know if that makes you more or less panicky. I had my laptop in a bag, too, although many of the seminars you'd need to charge so you'd be on the floor anyway.

And I don't know why, but it tickles me to think I'm older than you. At least by a couple of months, anyway

Elizabeth said...

That's awesome that we share the same birth DAY! Also, my sister's name is Amelia. Not so common name for people our age...she has said that she is hearing it more and more now. I guess our parents were just ahead of their time. :)