My weight loss at the moment is hovering somewhere between 25 & 30 pounds. Nothing to sneeze at. This is going back to my last summer/fall weight, when I finished breastfeeding. I figure that is as good of a 'start' point as any.
I feel more comfortable, I can fit in more clothes, but I don't feel, most days, like I've changed at all. Here I am weighing less than I did when I got married, but I don't feel it.
Maybe it is the skin hanging around my stomach, maybe it is that 30 pounds is a drop in the bucket when you have 100 to lose, but I'm having a hard time right now feeling like I've done anything. Sure, I fit in to smaller clothes (down to some of my size 16's) and I am not required to shop in the "old lady" section, but I guess I just expected to feel more. Like somehow the old more skinny confident in who I am feeling would just reappear.
I guess that is why for BlogHer I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. The weight loss is just a start. I've gotten married, had a baby, been successful at my career, and somewhere along the way I lost what little girly I had left. That feeling of being proud of my female body, and sexy in my own skin.
Some may see BlogHer as something to be jealous of, or just a big marketing bruhaha, but for me, I'm taking it as a chance to be reborn. I'm raising a girl, a girl who loves pink, and tutus, and dinosaurs, and I'd like to show her that you can own your girly. You can be feminine and still be a strong woman. It is something modern feminists struggle with, so I know I am not alone. I know it may not stick forever, but for now I'm putting on the cute shoes, wearing the skirt (except when I have to move equipment at work) and owning it.
Also, does anyone know where I can get pink Dino PJ's? Or anything? Seriously, she loves dinos.