In the Nick

No matter what you call it, some times things happen right when they're supposed to.

I've been shy on writing posts lately because I seem to keep writing the same post over and over again. I'll give you the Reader's Digest version.

Work is stressful. I like to eat, especially when stressed. Being sick sucks. Exercising is hard.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Some times however, things all come together right when they should, and there is a little glimmer of light. Right before things could have completely taken a turn for the even darker.

Things like finding an awesome true story about love that helps you remember the early days of your great romance. Remember all of those wonderful things that brought you to where you are today. (On the off chance that you are like me and have lived in cave and have not read the true story of how Ree, The Pioneer Woman, and The Marlboro Man met & got married, before you click that link, get a box of tissues and call in sick to work. You will not be able to stop)

The above becomes especially timely when among other things you learn of another divorce in the making.

Things like taking your daughter to her first movie, at a drive in. To hell with commercialism and a sleep deprived kid the next day. It was an awesome Father's Day wish and a fun night out. She has discovered candy and there is no turning back now.

Things like going to the Dr. and having their scale show you lighter (fully clothed even) than your scale at home. (let's be honest, you never get on that thing with clothes on) Which is sort of awesome after you had a thoroughly demoralizing run the night before.

I'm sort of glad I held off on posting all of that woe is me crud. Annie may be right after all. The sun is shining brightly all of a sudden. (no kidding, it just came out as I was writing this)

Which means I may need to mow the lawn more than go for a run.

Naw, I hear the prairie look is totally in.

With a Little Help

Tonight I did Week 4 of C25K. For the third time. By all rights, I should be using this opportunity to move on to Week 5, but I won't be doing it.

I want to succeed at this. I NEED to succeed at this. I find it so easy to give up sometimes, and I know I can't give up on this. There is a prize at the end and it is having the life that I want. So, I don't move on until I know I have mastered the current week. I don't move on until I know I will succeed when I try the next. It is a feeling, where I don't struggle through every run. It is when I can sprint at the end of the runs and really open up my lungs and stretch out my legs.

Last week, during all that rain and miserable cold weather, A said something to me that stung. When I said that I wasn't going out, he said that that was the me that he knew. Finding excuses.

Before you think that he was just being and ass, because I sort of did that already, know this. He knows me very well. He knows that sometimes to really get motivated, I need to get pissed.

So instead of making excuses, or just doing the Shred, I went out, and ran, in the pouring rain. When I called him out on the whole giving up thing, he did point out that it worked. He knew exactly what he was saying to me and why. I am so lucky that I have someone that will support me through all of this.

He hangs with the kid, gets baths ready, and often puts her to bed. He does it without complaining one little bit. It makes me want to not give up. It makes me run when I have a tickle in the back of my throat. It makes me run when I don't want to. It is what is going to make this a success.

This last March we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. I wanted to write a post for him, but I couldn't figure out what to write. From the beginning, our relationship has felt private, and special, and I didn't know what if anything I wanted to share. However, here a couple of months later, I finally figured it out. I wouldn't be where I am right now, if I didn't have his love and support.

Happy (late) Anniversary honey bunches.

Happy Father's Day A

I'll admit that I don't always give A a fair shake. I feel like I do more household chores, that I deal with more potty breaks, more dirty diapers, and dammit all, I breastfed. However, when it gets right down to it, A does a damn good job. He's there, he's involved, and he makes M (and me) a priority. He takes time off from work for sick days, he goes to all of the school conferences (something I don't remember my dad doing) and eventually, he'll brave a trip outside the house with M alone, I just know it. (It is OK, potty training in public scares me too)

He doesn't like cards, so I didn't get him one. When I told him M and I were doing an art project for him, he was moderately afraid it would involve paper towel rolls and macaroni. So I was happy when he liked what we had made. He's always had a thing for stepping stones, and this is something we can take with us, even if we don't stay in this house. M has a great way of saying who she loves, in the third person. M loves Mama. M loves Tess. M loves Papa, and so do I.

Happy Father's day A!