Tonight I did Week 4 of C25K. For the third time. By all rights, I should be using this opportunity to move on to Week 5, but I won't be doing it.
I want to succeed at this. I NEED to succeed at this. I find it so easy to give up sometimes, and I know I can't give up on this. There is a prize at the end and it is having the life that I want. So, I don't move on until I know I have mastered the current week. I don't move on until I know I will succeed when I try the next. It is a feeling, where I don't struggle through every run. It is when I can sprint at the end of the runs and really open up my lungs and stretch out my legs.
Last week, during all that rain and miserable cold weather, A said something to me that stung. When I said that I wasn't going out, he said that that was the me that he knew. Finding excuses.
Before you think that he was just being and ass, because I sort of did that already, know this. He knows me very well. He knows that sometimes to really get motivated, I need to get pissed.
So instead of making excuses, or just doing the Shred, I went out, and ran, in the pouring rain. When I called him out on the whole giving up thing, he did point out that it worked. He knew exactly what he was saying to me and why. I am so lucky that I have someone that will support me through all of this.
He hangs with the kid, gets baths ready, and often puts her to bed. He does it without complaining one little bit. It makes me want to not give up. It makes me run when I have a tickle in the back of my throat. It makes me run when I don't want to. It is what is going to make this a success.
This last March we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. I wanted to write a post for him, but I couldn't figure out what to write. From the beginning, our relationship has felt private, and special, and I didn't know what if anything I wanted to share. However, here a couple of months later, I finally figured it out. I wouldn't be where I am right now, if I didn't have his love and support.
Happy (late) Anniversary honey bunches.