When Retail Therapy Goes Badly

Open letters to an evening of shopping.

Dear Schuler Shoes,

Yes, I know that it was 10 minutes before you closed, but some of us work and like putting our kids to bed. I came in knowing exactly what I wanted. You didn't need to act so annoyed. Also, sort of disappointed that you didn't have my size. You're one of the only places in town that carries them. You didn't even offer to see if you had them at another store. I was willing to spend the extra 40 bucks to buy them from a local store, but you lost that sale. Likely any future ones as well.

Sincerely,
Big Foot just ordered off of Amazon.

Dear Dick's Sporting Goods,

Yeah, totally happy you had a nice lightweight hat for me to use for running. Absolutely disappointed that you didn't carry any women's socks above a size 10. Men's socks are OK, but can be wide. If I am going to spend money on the good running socks, they had better fit me.

Sincerely,
Big Foot Again, still looking for the socks

Dear REI,

I pink puffy heart you. I ordered a couple of pairs of shorts online earlier this week (including plus size, so awesome you carry workout clothes for real women), and I took the chance today to try them on. I cannot wait until mine get here. Almost bought another pair. (holding out on buying more than the minimum until I lose more) Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,
Fat girls need wicking fabrics too

Dear Thighs,

You know, I guess I could have been OK not seeing you in your current state. That whole lack of a mirror thing was sort of working for me. However, I must say, given that your current saggy look is due to my losing weight, I can't be too upset. We're getting there. Thank you for putting up with being shoved in tight compression shorts and running skorts. The skorts definitely were better, but we're not quite out of the chaffing woods yet. Soon. However, even if you're not there by fall, I'm still putting you in tights.

Sincerely,
Cottage cheese doesn't even begin to explain it...