Thursday, February 12, 2009

She loves you, she loves you not

Other than birthdays, which were relatively a non issue in a rural area, there is nothing that drove home my status as a social misfit more than Valentine's day. It was something that came every year with equal parts dread and hope. Hope that maybe this year would reveal that maybe I wasn't as much of an outcast as I thought I was, and dread in knowing that my box would be filled with the last choice valentines. Every store box of valentine's had them, the ones that were backhanded, and not so subtlety mean. They always seemed to end up in my box.

The challenges of parenting are many, but my own upbringing has left me feeling prepared for just about anything. Anything except the trials and tribulations of social status and popularity. I have nothing but fear that she doesn't end up where I did, bottom of the social food chain. Seeing and interacting with the other parents at daycare brings it all back. Is she liked? Is she nice to other kids? Do the other parents want their kids around her?

I thought at least that we would be able to avoid Valentine's Day a little longer. Maybe do some pink and red crafts, but that was it. Little did I know that it starts in the older toddlers room. Boxes needed to be brought in from home, decorated to receive Valentine's. Items on the schedule for the week included "card factory". Sure, it is a little more involved than I was ready for, but I could handle that. They would cover the making of the cards. Easy. But then, a list of names of all of the kids in her class showed up. Are we expected to bring them in? Will she get any? Do I need to get candy? Should I be the mom who gets the healthy snack? Should I go for the chocolate?

I am nervous, anxious, and scared about this. I know it doesn't make sense. I know she'll be fine, she isn't even two. She won't even remember it. But I will.

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