Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Moving on...

Since I had M, I've managed to lose almost all of the weight I gained. There is another 5-10 to go, but that is about it. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been 90+ pounds overweight before I got pregnant. I had originally planned to lose weight on our path to getting pregnant, since I knew it increased our odds. Then, something completely unplanned happened, and I got pregnant right away. (what girl doesn't want a little "practice") Which turns out to be pretty incredible as I seem to have found out later.

So, I'm 80-100 pounds overweight, and I'm being kind to myself about the weight I need to lose. I've been overweight to some degree since I was 18. Freshman year of college was not kind, and since then, it hasn't gotten any better. Lack of exercise, sedentary job, the list of excuses go on.

Well, last night I had something of a breaking point (for now, I've had them before) I had a pair of pants rip while I was wearing them. Granted they were cheap and from Tarjay, but still, they ripped, right down the front by the zipper. I have got to do something about this.

It may not be as easy as it looks either, which is why I've been putting it off. Turns out getting pregnant may have been some incredibly dumb luck. See, as I've gotten older, I've gotten harrier, hirsute you could say, and not in the usual places. All on my face. (which is why I found this post more than a little um, frustrating and hard to read) I started by bleach, then that didn't work since it just burned my skin off for little result. I've moved on to waxing, but it is near impossible to keep up. Seriously, we're not talking a few stray hairs here, its BAD.

So, instead of just dreaming of laser hair removal and bizarre conditions that make your hair fall out, I talked to my doctor this last year. My OB had already mentioned that she thought I may have hormone issues, but then I got pregnant right away, so it was tabled. However, this time I took it seriously, and went in for testing. Nothing was conclusive, but the endocrinologist still thinks that I may have PCOS, and wants to start me on Metformin. Which I've found out is actually a diabetes drug. Seems I may be insulin resistant on top of everything (goes with the hair apparently). That can't start until I stop breastfeeding, and M doesn't show any signs of wanting to give up the boob just yet (and I refuse to put her through a forced stoppage for no serious reason) But I'm scared. I'm scared that the issues that cause the hair, could make it hard to lose weight. My usual tricks may not work since I've been avoiding artificial sweeteners while bf.

But I have to do something. I can't stand pictures being taken of me, the pain of waxing makes it hard to want to keep up with it, and its expensive on top of everything. It makes me break out like mad, which can cause scarring which I don't want. I'm fat and hairy and I really want to enjoy my body again.

So I'm going to try something new. Telling strangers about what I'm doing. How I've fallen off the wagon (its gonna happen) to try to make me accountable. And I'm going to see if the Met works, as soon as she's off the boob (I have a date in mind, just not sharing it). And I have a goal in mind for some serious weight loss. Blogher, next year. I'm stealing Christina's idea, I want to be hot.


Jill said...

Trying to lose the baby weight is something I've been working on, too, and I find the public accountability of putting it in my blog useful. Also, my insurance has a free weight-loss over-the-phone coaching thing, which was helpful in terms of having somebody to sort-of answer to, at least for me.

And if you haven't heard of thedailyplate.com, it lets you input your weight, what you eat, what your weight loss goal is, your exercise & general level of activity, etc., and comes up with an estimated amount of calories you can eat to reach your goal, plus it keeps track of how many you have left for that day, etc. It's kind of like keeping a food journal that does the math for you.

And best of luck with the hair & figuring out if there are underlying issues. Thinking good thoughts for you about those.

Jenn said...

One of the protocols for PCOS is to use BC pills to stimulate a normal cycle. So if you were just coming off the pill, it makes sense that you would get pregnant right away, even with the PCOS.
The Advice Smackdown just did a post about this as well... Good luck.