Under Pressure

I swore, back forwards and sideways, that I wouldn't be one of those parents who pushed their kid, who tried to turn them into the next over achieving kid to have a nervous breakdown by the time they started elementary school. I've lived in areas where people do that, and it scares me. I figured I would present developmentally appropriate options, make sure she was getting good care, and let things happen. If she ended up being behind, or if there were obvious issues, I would be unafraid to get help.

However, things never go as planned. Daycare seems to have issues, and based on very abrupt, often complaining type interactions, I question the care she is getting. I don't think it is bad, but I don't know if there are challenges (as much as you can challenge a 14 month old) and I doubt that it is "great". My special requests for them seem to be an issue, even though they are more about making sure she has room to move (limited time in the exersaucer when she was littler) and good food choices (cheeze-its are not appropriate for anyone under the age of 16, if at all). I played with her, loved her, bought her way too many toys. Aside from hearing issues related to the ear infections from hell, that have been dealt with with tubes, things are going well.

She is tall, and tall kids tend to walk later. Something about trying to coordinate all of that height. I wasn't worried. That was, until.... I got her into the better daycare. However, at the better daycare, she would be in the toddler room. And at the better daycare, they have standards (same as current daycare when it comes to walking, but we were under no pressure to be ready for that room) and she needs to be walking, alone, all the time.

All of a sudden I am grabbing her finger, forcing her to stand and take steps, letting go of one hand and making her do it almost all on her own. I am pushing her in a way that makes me uncomfortable, and I try constantly to convince myself I am doing it for her own good. That having her close to me downtown, in a center that has a great school readiness program, better ratios, better staff retention, and did I mention close to me downtown, will be worth it.

The best part, today, I bought her these. Her first pair of real shoes. A says we got them for the fit, and that we'll take out the squeakers, but I know, I know that part of me really hopes that they get her walking more.