Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The People and the Potato

I have far more social anxiety than I had realized. I swear, this is something that has happened over time. When I was three, I used to walk up to people and introduce myself and ask them to be my friend. This weekend I followed my roomie around like a lost puppy, afraid to be involved in the conversations she was in, and afraid to start my own. I was trying my best to make sure that if I said something, it was something that was worth the air I was expelling. I believe I may have finally hit my groove Saturday night, or perhaps Sunday morning on a cab ride to the airport.

No, I do not think that more alcohol would have helped.

I went up to my room at regular intervals to just relax and breathe. I know more than once I excused myself when I wanted to stay and talk and enjoy. I hope to hell that I didn't offend anyone, and I've kept replaying situations in my mind, wishing that I had done things differently. But I didn't, I did what I did, and I can only hope that next year I do better.

That does not mean that the weekend wasn't without some little moments that still make me giddy.

I met Mrs. Potato Head.

I don't care what you say, she may not have been a Muppet, but that girl makes me look skinny.

I got to hold both of these babies. Including the part where I accidentally hid Amy's iPhone under my purse. I'm still sorry about that.

I sat and talked to The New Girl, more than once, and I'm completely floored by how funny and sweet she is. She made me feel very comfortable. I hear therapists are good at doing that.

I met a famous chef, told him how wonderful his fine restaurant's take on a kid's menu is, and then blamed him for my marriage.

I ate breakfast with a Rookie Mom.

I went and took some pictures to help me relax.

I ate Cheeseburgerherz, talked to a local writer, and made plans to go eat Chinese with her, soon, I promise.

There were so many more people. I still haven't gone through my business cards, I fear for my feed reader, but I am so happy. Things will be changing here, just a little at first, but I have a clear idea of what kind of blogger I want to be, what kind of writer I want to be. And next year, because there will be a next year, I will be at BlogHer, talking to everyone. Just try and keep me quiet.


Jill said...

I love this post! I know what you mean. If my roommate had let me hide behind her, I totally would have. I tried to go out there and find people, but ended up wandering around a lot. But it also changed the way I think about my blog and my writing. I'm not sure how it will change things, but I no for certain that it will. Looking forward to meeting you next year!!

the new girl said...

That's so sweet, what you wrote about me. I would have NEVER guessed that you were feeling anxious socially. You were such a breeze to talk to.


Heather said...

What wonderful pictures! I have pictures of lots of buildings but hardly any people, and for that I'm so sad. There I was walking around with my camera THE WHOLE TIME and the only time I really used it was on an architectural tour Sunday afternoon.

I spent some time in my room trying to just relax. The whole weekend was very exhausting. And I don't think you have as much social anxiety as you think because you had the nerve to hold Ezra. I didn't even dare to ask, so I'm really jealous.

And wouldn't worry about his mom's phone. Losing it and/or dropping it in toilets seems to be par for the course for her

She Likes Purple said...

Nice recap! We're all a little socially anxious at times. I think. Man, I've followed more people around hoping they'd speak on my behalf instead of me having to do it myself. Regardless, hope to meet you next year!

Newt said...

I didn't go, and I've been reading everyone's recaps of BlogHer with tremendous jealousy--the goofy pictures, the big slumber party atmosphere, the cushiest hotel beds this side of heaven. But can I just say, for the record, that however antsy you might have felt, you are the one blogger I am most jealous of right now. You got to hold Ezra? The mighty Ez! And you are having Chinese with Alexa! Those are some of my favorite people on the whole internet. (A category that includes you, too, Amelia!)

I may swoon.

confused homemaker said...

Wasn't there but am jealous about all the pics people got with Mrs. Potato Head, she was like Ms. Popularity. And I agree I think everyone has a little (or a lot in my case) of social anxiety.