I read a lot of posts by a lot of people that I really like about how awesome natural child birth is. How great their experience was, and how that is the right way to do it.
And I feel cheated.
I was born at home with a midwife, my brother was born at home with a midwife, while I watched and lived in horror of the "it burns, get it out!". However, I still wanted natural. Except, I was OK if it didn't go that way.
I picked an OB for convenience to my office so that the multiple appointments were doable and I picked one because they delivered at Abbott, which was affiliated with Children's. I had worked for them and I knew that if there were complications or early arrivals, they were the best to deal with it.
When things started to go south and my blood pressure, my normally so low I can't donate blood blood pressure started to go up, I was great full for a Dr. who still wanted me to have a vaginal delivery. She wanted as few interventions as possible, knowing that the female body usually has a clue. However, she took my health and M's health seriously.
As it happened, things got serious, but my body had a clue and was already in labor. It got a little help speeding things up, but at least it wasn't forced into anything. It was going easy, and I wanted to still have as much of that birth experience as I could. Sure I didn't get to labor at home at all, but damn it I was going to walk the halls. Until they told me I couldn't. Until my blood pressure got so high that they were wondering why I wasn't have seizzures or blacking out. Until the best thing for me was to get an epidural. It worked, we were all safe. The other complications were things that could have been dealt with by an experienced midwife, but given all I had been through, I was glad I was where I was.
So there I am, torn between appreciating and valuing the non-medicated old fashioned way to do things and loving that I'm alive to see my daughter figure out pooping in the potty. So many people write about how awesome the natural way is, but not many people write about how glad they are that interventions happened, that they got to walk out with a live baby on a live mom. So while I do feel a little cheated, I also feel like I need to share. Things don't always go how you planned, and sometimes that's a good thing.