Thursday, October 23, 2008

Maybe a little sadder than I thought...

There are I am sure a number of people out there who were under the impression that I had already weaned M. See, I didn't say I hadn't on a number of occasions. The fact that I did it, and did it past the age of 1, meant I was some kind of sick person. Little did they know that I exclusively breastfed (there was this one little formula incident when I lost my freezer stash), pumped at work (until 14 months), and well, just keep going up until... yesterday. Tonight was our first attempt at bedtime without anything extra. Tomorrow night I will miss bedtime when I have to work late for the first time in a long time, and at 18 months, I figured it was time.

I've been putting off calling back the endocrinologist about getting a solid diagnosis for PCOS, been putting off travel assignments at work, and well, putting it off. I know we could have gone longer, and that it would have been a good thing, but it was time.

She finally started drinking cows milk, something she refused to do until about a month ago. Last week she even almost even forgot it was part of the bedtime routine. (though tonight she tried to run away from me when I said it was bedtime) I am sure it has helped her immune system, especially with being a daycare kid. I know she didn't get a couple of nasty bugs that both A and I got, and that was a good enough reason for me.

I know it had to happen, I guess I just didn't expect to be so sad about it. I fought hard to make it work despite the failings at my hospital. I even used a nipple shield long past when she should have given it up because it was the only way she'd nurse. (I hope she doesn't have any lasting nipple issues. You know being a teen and thinking hers should have little plastic hats) I made it work, I beat the averages, and now done.

Maybe some new bras will make me feel better.


Birdie said...

oh hugs!!! we aren't weaned yet but he is definately nursing less and i can totally imagine what you are feeling.

and yeah, i'm TOTALLY looking forward to new bras!

Marketing Mama said...

I can totally relate - I could have written this post with my first baby. I weaned him at 14 months... Now I'm a few months away from weaning baby #2 and I'm not looking forward to it.

Your hormones are probably going crazy right now and it's so normal to be sad about it. Make sure to give M lots of extra hugs and cuddle time to keep the physical contact without the nursing.

Anonymous said...

That sounds so much like my post when Zoe weaned at 18 months. Like you, it was just time, we had cut down to only morning nursings anyway, and then I had to travel to a conference that I was going to present at, and decided that that would be when we weaned - I didn't want to worry about leaking while presenting in front of a bunch of librarians. I never really loved nursing the way I thought I should, so I was really surprised by how sad I ended up feeling, too.

You did awesome with the nursing. Especially given how hard it sounds like it was in the beginning.