M started her new daycare on Monday and while it seems to be going well, there has been trauma and drama for all involved. We got a clue during one of our pre-visits last week of what was coming when she screamed that most terrible of primal toddler screams when we left while A met the director. She recovered quickly, but I had a feeling.
I was right. M has never had issues with transition before now. It helps that she had known her teachers at her old daycare since she was three months old, but even with that, she always seemed to handle drop off better than her peers. I know we're at the age when things start to change, but as recently as a couple of weekends ago, I dropped her off with friends of mine she had never met for an hour while I got a new haircut.
Monday we made it through the bus ride and in the door. The moment I set her down, the scream started. I talked enough to the teachers, then turn and ran out the door. When I went to pick her up, I had knots in my stomach with worry about how she had done. Tuesday wasn't much better. Both days she got hugs and cuddles from the teachers and calmed down enough to have a great day. She's even napping good on the cots, which was something that worried me. (we'll see how good it goes when they take away her Nuk...) Today was our first glimmer of hope that maybe this will be short lived. She walked in the doors of the building, to the door of her daycare (it is in a larger building), through that door, into her classroom, and halfway into the room. Then she remember that she should be screaming. Since I just make it worse, I turned and ran out again.
Things overall are well, I have done my best not to bug daycare, other than a few emails. I get wonderful glowing reports every day of how she does. She was a little huggy today, but that might have something to do with the teething and her regular hugs at home. (wosth mom guilt perhaps?) Oh, and maybe it had something to do with the BITE. I was warned last week there are biters in her class. That I would be called if they drew blood. Well, that is a plus I guess, they didn't break the skin. A isn't dealing with it well, and while I know it is a regular thing in the world of toddlers, how do you deal with it? What if you're the parent of a biter? What if she learns to bite? Couldn't this have waited until I got her OK with drop off?
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
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2 comments:
Mary P. of It's Not All Mary Poppins, whose vast experience and sensible outlook I really respect, just wrote about drop-offs recently over at Work It, Mom.
You might find it helpful - she's done daycare with little ones for ages & has several teens of her own, so she is a voice of experience. Anyway, just a thought.
The biting thing is an interesting challenge. We found that most kids who bite do not know what it feels like and they are getting a lot of attention for doing it. When we encounter this when our kids were young. We gently bit back, but daycare may not be able to do that.
This reminds me of last sunday's Speaking of faith (speakingoffaith.org) on play. That when kids play rough and find out what it feels like to be hit or play rough, they change their behavior and don't hit or play as rough. Bullies are those who haven't had that feedback. Of course this is kids playing rough together and are self governing. This is not adults hitting or biting kids(that's a whole other story).
The author who was on speaking of faith stated that the rough and tumble play helps kid develop empathy. Pretty powerful stuff-play.
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