I'm a horrible blogger. I haven't been blogging much at all, barely even on twitter, and honestly, just too busy to care.
This year has me stressed beyond belief. I've been having a hard time trying to figure out just what it is that has me so frazzled, so on edge (besides the antics of a two year old) and I realized that it is because of the importance of this year.
This is the year of the Santa.
M has a crazy good memory, she can remember everything, and this is the year that she will start to believe in Santa Claus. I want her to believe, I want her to enjoy it. I'm thirty-two and I still believe in the spirit of Santa Claus. The warm and fuzzy feeling you get from being generous to others.
This year though, Santa has to get her what she asks for. He has to know what her heart desires and bring it to her. That is more easily said than done. She doesn't even know what she wants. Other than near monthly gifts from her Nana (MIL). she just doesn't ask for toys or really get them. I've at least tried to make that something special, something for the holidays and birthdays. She is two after all, it isn't like she needs all that much.
School has been valuable in teaching about Santa. and helping us figure out what she wants. Of course, part of what she has asked for hasn't been made in thirty years. It has required searching, and asking people to return gifts they had bought because now it needs to come from Santa. It has consumed me. It has stressed me out. It has made me forget other things I needed to get done, like oh, shop for my niece's birthday present.
In the end, I think it will be worth it. I don't know if every Christmas will be this crazy, if we'll do this much to make sure Santa delivers, but this year, I've done everything I can to make sure that she believes. (please let her believe)