I would run 100 miles...

... and I would run 100 more. Just to be the one who ran 100 miles to fall down at your door...

Since I started tracking my mileage on Daily Mile, I've run 100 miles.

I swear, just check out the nifty widget over there on the right.

If that isn't motivating, I don't know what is.

*Apologies to the Proclaimers for changing the lyrics to their song. They put on what was by far one of the best concerts I've ever seen. Only thing that would have made it better was not having the creepy blind date along... Good thing Scottish accents make up for most everything.

The Long and the Short of It

I have an odd body of sorts. It is the body of someone who once weighed over 300 pounds (while pregnant), the body of a mom and the body of somebody who while getting healthier, still loves cookies and ice cream perhaps a bit too much. I carry my weight relatively evenly, with a concentration of excess skin and some fat around my mid section. (I believe the semi technical term is "apron" but I find that moderately annoying) I also carrying some excess skin and flabbyness in my inner thighs. My upper thighs, even at my skinniest, have always rubbed together. I also have some serious calves. I have ever since I was a swimmer.

It is not your average runner's body, and it likely never will be.

Finding clothes that work for me is hard. Finding running clothes that work for me is near impossible. I need something that fits my body, but doesn't really show much of it. I also need something that is wicking, since I sweat like a... well, lets just say I'll need a towel after the BlogHer 5K more than I'll need breakfast.

For shirts I wear a XXL singlet from Champion's Target line. It is a little short for my comfort, but it does the job. I can't imagine sleeves in weather like this. After having seen what my husband got for himself, I may hit the men's section next time to get a longer singlet.

For shorts so far the only things I've liked is the REI OXT Fleet Short 6" inseam women's running short. They are roomy, but not too baggy, long enough not to ride up, they cover the parts that rub, they have a drawstring so I can cinch them in, and they have a long enough rise. They also have the built in undies, which are nice, believe it or not. You just have to wash them every time you wear them.

I tried a Moving Comfort plus size short, but the rise was too short, and it didn't cover the tummy skin. I want to try some of the options from Athleta, since they have a some non cotton Bermuda length shorts. I also think I may try tights at some point, or spandex shorts. That would be when a longer shirt would be nice. Or maybe a skirt without anything underneath. I am also looking at this skirt from REI. In fact, the whole OXT line looks good. I'm especially fond of the fact that they have extended sizes. Not that I need them now, but I know how hard finding good fitness clothing can be when you don't fit the norm. I am beyond frustrated that a number of women's fitness clothing companies stop all of the serious gear at size 14. I'm looking at you Title 9.

What do you like? I am always open to suggestions.

Disclosure: The only connection to anything mentioned is that I am an REI Coop member. I get a dividend, but only for money I actually spend.

16,368 feet, 4,988 meters (for you Canadians)

Due to rain, and visits to the in-laws for the best fireworks in town, and romantic dinner dates with my awesome husband, I hadn't run since last Saturday. Today was my last day with no kiddo for the foreseeable future so I made the most of it...

...and ran 3.1 miles (fine maybe just three when you figure in the half a block to and from the parkway)

I ran three miles.

I don't think I've ever run three miles in my life. Seriously, like never. Well, until today.

The best part is, it will not be the last time I do it. I may even do something crazy, like run four or even five miles.

I still need to add another half a mile to get to what I am have committed to do for BlogHer, but I'm trying not to think about that right now. Right now it is all about the three miles.

Three hard fought, delicious, take your breath away, make you sweat in the 80% humidity miles.

Running Haiku

When I run, it is a constant inner dialog reminding me of proper form. Like a haiku playing over and over again in my head

Head up, shoulders back
Eyes on the path, abs sucked in
Don't over pronate

Focus on breathing
Keep moving, you can do it
Watch your foot placement

I repeat it over and over again as the exhaustion kicks in and I have to work that much harder.

Head up, shoulders back
Eyes on the path, abs sucked in
Don't over pronate

Focus on breathing
Keep moving, you can do it
Watch your foot placement

I remember to pace my breathing. I focus on my abs and making sure my core is stable. I pay attention to how my knee feels. I watch the time and push myself to go faster if I need to.

I can feel the muscles in my stomach, my legs, my arms. I can visualize running without the burden of all this extra fat and skin. I keep that in my mind when it gets hard.

There are times, every time I get out there, when I think about not doing it. When I consider just walking instead, like I used to. It is a conscience choice to commit to this. I make the choice every time, because I know the pay off is worth it. I can see the progress I am making. It was small at first. It is becoming more noticeable all the time. I am running under a 15 minute mile. I am adding distance. I am making progress.

Fat Girl Running

The whole time I've been doing the Couch to 5K, I've been focused on just making it through so I could make it to the next thing. There was always the next interval to make it to.

I'm here. I'm at the last interval. I can run 30 minutes.

The next part, this part I'm not so sure about.

I need to go faster, and I need to go farther.

I don't know how to get there. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this.

Tonight when I was running, I felt fat for the first time since I started this. The faster I try to go, the more that I bounce. It is uncomfortable and frustrating.

So I think the next thing is to just keep trying to farther. The pace I'm going is slow, but it is going none the less. It is doing what it needs to do right now. Maybe I'll always be really slow.

Who knows though. Maybe the fast will happen some day.

Thirty Minutes

There was a time, when I wasn't sure I would ever be able to run a minute. I could barely walk a mile comfortably, so there was no way I would ever be able to run.

Then I worked harder. I survived the Jillian's shredding. I kept walking until a mile became two, became three miles in under an hour. I biked to work with forty-five pounds of kid and gear.

I still didn't believe that I would actually become a runner.

I started though, determined to conquer something new in my quest for a healthier me.

A ran for a minute. One minute became ninety seconds. Ninety seconds became two minutes, became three minutes. Then five, eight and ten.

Tonight it was 30 minutes. 2.14 miles.

I have a hard time imagining that I will ever go faster than I do right now. But my 15 minute mile has already become a 14.5 minute mile. Eventually, with some luck and a lot of hard work, it will be a 10 minute mile.

Constant Craving

This summer at BlogHer, provided that I can afford it, I want to get another tattoo. I want a small sprout, for M, because she is my little sprout.

However, the way things have been going lately, I think I should get this tattooed somewhere...

Reasons not to have that ice cream, cake, brownie, soda, ice cream cake, cookie, chocolate, etc...

1. One pound of weight is five pounds of force on your knees. Every step puts an excess 350 pounds of weight on each knee. OW! They hurt more just thinking about that.

2. Skinny jeans

3. Size Medium

4. Sun dresses with strappy straps.

5. Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, and J. Freaking Crew

6. Totally being a showoff about your mad running skillz.

7. Living a life without insulin, or drugs that make you sick, or worries about something preventable.

8. Getting in on the leggings and flowing top trend before it goes

9. Boots without wide shanks

10. The rest of your damn life, is it really worth all of that sugar?

When Retail Therapy Goes Badly

Open letters to an evening of shopping.

Dear Schuler Shoes,

Yes, I know that it was 10 minutes before you closed, but some of us work and like putting our kids to bed. I came in knowing exactly what I wanted. You didn't need to act so annoyed. Also, sort of disappointed that you didn't have my size. You're one of the only places in town that carries them. You didn't even offer to see if you had them at another store. I was willing to spend the extra 40 bucks to buy them from a local store, but you lost that sale. Likely any future ones as well.

Sincerely,
Big Foot just ordered off of Amazon.

Dear Dick's Sporting Goods,

Yeah, totally happy you had a nice lightweight hat for me to use for running. Absolutely disappointed that you didn't carry any women's socks above a size 10. Men's socks are OK, but can be wide. If I am going to spend money on the good running socks, they had better fit me.

Sincerely,
Big Foot Again, still looking for the socks

Dear REI,

I pink puffy heart you. I ordered a couple of pairs of shorts online earlier this week (including plus size, so awesome you carry workout clothes for real women), and I took the chance today to try them on. I cannot wait until mine get here. Almost bought another pair. (holding out on buying more than the minimum until I lose more) Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,
Fat girls need wicking fabrics too

Dear Thighs,

You know, I guess I could have been OK not seeing you in your current state. That whole lack of a mirror thing was sort of working for me. However, I must say, given that your current saggy look is due to my losing weight, I can't be too upset. We're getting there. Thank you for putting up with being shoved in tight compression shorts and running skorts. The skorts definitely were better, but we're not quite out of the chaffing woods yet. Soon. However, even if you're not there by fall, I'm still putting you in tights.

Sincerely,
Cottage cheese doesn't even begin to explain it...

I Kicked Week 5 and Lived to Tell

So, Week 5 is done. In the seven or so weeks I've been doing this, nothing has scared me as much as that first really long run. Nothing.

I read ahead when I was on week 3 and thought about giving up on the spot.

However, I now own Week 5.

I jogged, very slowly, for 1.37 miles.

Let me put that another way. I ran over a mile, at an under 15 min/mile pace. (14:35 to be exact)

Then I limped home like the big baby that I am. For longer runs, my foot cramps up, my knee starts getting weak, and it is all I can do to make it through the full 3 mile route.

Good thing that I don't run again until Saturday and that Week 6 starts out slow.

I will be getting some insoles until my new shoes show up, hopefully that helps out a little. By the time I get to Week 7 (OMG, no slowing down at all) I should have new shoes in my hot little hands (please don't let me down Amazon.com)

While I'm Doing the C25K - Episode 2

Five minutes isn't seeming like so long anymore.

You know, now that I'm on the uber budget, I should put together a wish list for running supplies. What should I put on it? It would help me have goals to save for.

More singlets. This thing is damn comfy to run in. But I'm sweating like a hog and I really should wash them every day now.

Some more sports bras, see reasons above. Glad I found the Moving Comfort one, but I wonder if it will work without underwire.

That reminds me, I really need to save up for some new bras in general.

I wonder if Nike still makes wicking undies. Cotton is just not going to cut it when it is ninety degrees out. *

I should blog about how happy I am to have lost enough weight to be able to find cute underwear cheap. No longer forced to shop at Lane Bryant.

OK, back to the list.

New shoes. My older motion control shoes are helping out the knee. Damn I hate that the little snot at the New Balance store was right. At least I can order online now.

I need a haircut. That is a running supply right. I wonder if I can afford to keep going to my regular person. If I had to go to the Institute it would suck. Trainees hate curly hair.

Maybe I should get a lighter weight hat like that chick that just passed me again. The canvas is going to get hot too.

I wonder if I will ever be comfortable in those short running shorts.

I will never be comfortable in that unitard thing she is wearing. OMG.

I'm going to be the dork that goes to the grocery store in her workout clothes tonight. To hell with it.

Monday is 8 minutes. I'm scared.

* Yeah, if you have always worn technical running shorts, you won't get this. The fitness pants I run in, no liner. However, I did find these from Title Nine. They are now on the list.

** I have no idea if it will work, but I am thinking about moving my work schedule and trying to get out when A is getting ready for work. That would be around 5:30. AM. I don't do well for exercise then, but I think it would help my overall goals of weight loss to start the day exercising. We'll see if it lasts longer than my Shred at 5:30 plan. (two weeks was all I made it then)

Putting on my running shoes.

You know, the really expensive ones that I bought.

I'm back on track with my Couch to 5K plan. Kristen (not this one, the local one) is pushing me to actually sign up for a 5K and I see her point, it makes excuses harder to make. I think I will bite the bullet some time in the next couple of weeks for something late summer. I'm not going all crazy and do one in six weeks when I know work is going to continue to be hard and July is HOT.

My training program will consist of two days of training with Kristen, one day of training alone. Those are "running" days. I am also going to be going biking with the family (provided the seat installation goes well) and maybe adding another day of walking with Kristen. That should get me up to at least four or five days a week. Better than the two to three I am stuck on now, not as good as seven the way a started out April.

It was nice to do seven, but my house started to get really messy. All of my free time exists after when M goes to sleep at 7. There just isn't any other time with the full time job. I can't get by on a hour or less of cleaning a night to get laundry, dishes, prep work for cooking, etc. done.

To help find the balance, I'm going to do the biking that includes M and A, and I'm learning to push my limits for what I do when M is awake. It won't be easy, but I am still committed to making that six months to a life change goal. Exercise will be come a regular part of my life. I'm even investigating joining a gym for the winter. Since I'll be driving instead of busing when it gets cold, I figure I can stay an extra half an hour downtown, or find somewhere I can go after M goes to bed. I doubt the 7 PM bed time will stay, so we'll see.