Biting Off

So, if you follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed I'm freaking out a bit about my blog situation. You see, I'm still not decided about BlogHer. I mean, I want to go, but it is expensive. If I go, I want to be able to justify it with my seriousness about blogging. In my mind, since I've already paid for the domain/hosting, that means getting my blog on my own domain. If I am going to do that, I need to invest in my brand, which means I need to invest in design, which is really just rationalizing going to BlogHer.

I mean, I have no intention of leaving a job that I love for being a full time blogger, for one, I'm not that good. However, I like how blogging helps my mental health, my actual physical health, and I like the community I have found in it. It has also helped me (though not sure if you can tell that here) become a better writer.

I am pretty sure that this whole parenting thing would have been a lot harder if I hadn't had a blog. It is my outlet for a lot of things. It also means I don't have to call my mom as much, which well, is sort of nice.

There are also some opportunities that I've wanted to take advantage of that I can't until I have a more mature blog.

So, I need your help. I may be able to figure out how to do my own design, but I am still thinking about having someone do some graphics for me. I know what I want, I just don't have the tools to do it myself. I'm also not rich, so someone looking to build a portfolio who would work for home made pickles would be a plus, but not needed.

Along those same lines, would you find it amusing if I played off of the Sprout part of the blog name? As in very young plants thing? It seems either entirely brilliant or completely stupid.

My own adventure weekend

So, after freaking out more times than I can count, I finally made a decision about BlogHer. I'm going. My pass is already purchased. I decided this even though A suggested that perhaps the universe was trying to tell me something with the whole wallet thing. Apparently if that is the case, I am not listening very well.

What sort of put me over the edge was Jen's comment.

c) It's an experience. New experiences are always worth the time/effort/money.

You see, Jen (I know her outside of the blog) is the queen of adventure. She's downright inspiring about it in fact. I play it safe a lot, and I used to be the person who was adventurous. I moved out east by myself, moved to NYC by myself (with jobs to go to, but still). I took off to Europe with no plan other than a plane ticket and even though I may have called my mom freaking out the first night, eventually, I just took off and went where I wanted to, with people I barely knew. I even had a random border guard run in because of someone I was with having a Peruvian passport.

I miss that person. I miss going out of my comfort zone. It is winter, so I'm a little more blue than usual, but I think that maybe this is just what I need to get me out of the funk I've been in. I spend a lot of my time these days caught up in being M's mom. Even at work, because of being a working parent of a small kid, everything I do is influenced by being M's mom. I don't travel, I don't work as late, and outside of work, I don't take any risks. (unless getting pick pocketed for the first time in your life counts)

So, this is my adventure this year. Last year I was jealous of the people who got to go, because I wanted to. This year, I'm lucky I can go. If you're not going, feel free to live vicariously through me, I'll try not to let you down. If you are, you better come and say hello. If I'm freaking out, I'll be the one knitting in the corner.

Quick, before I chicken out

So, I'm relatively sure that I want to go to BlogHer this year, but I have to admit that I still have cold feet a little. Sure, I want to get to see Christina, but do I really want to deal with little sleep and serious social anxiety? I used to be outgoing, and extroverted. Heck, I wanted to be an actress. Age has made me chicken shit. I know I can afford it now, but I'm having a hard time actually committing. I just can't pull the trigger so to speak.

I just want to be able to go and talk to people who don't give me funny looks when I say "blog" or like my MIL think I just write mean stuff about people. (Oh, if she only knew what I held back) I know I'll have an awesome person there that I know who will know lots of people, but crap. Big fat chicken.

Maybe after I've slept on it.

They call it 60's

I've been having more fun with Picnik for the new header, and adding another column over there on the side. (I'll comment on that soon enough) Still not done tweaking, but it is nearly bedtime here in the steamy twin cities. (bad air alerts, so if you're local, stay inside in the AC)

I've also started a cool new photo project of sorts, details coming on that too. I may need all six of your thinking caps on to help me figure something out.